Daily prayer in Christmas 2025-2026: 9, Friday 2 January 2026

‘Nine Ladies (and men) Dancing’ in Uçhisar in the Nevşehir District in Cappadocia … traditionally the nine ladies dancing in the Christmas song represent the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Patrick Comerford

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me … ‘nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree’.

I recently heard these days after Christmas as ‘Betwixtmas’, but we are still in the season of Christmas. The Calendar of the Church of England in Common Worship today (2 January) remembers Saint Basil the Great (379) and Saint Gregory of Nazianzus (389), Bishops and Teachers of the Faith; Saint Seraphim (1833), Monk of Sarov and Spiritual Guide; and Vedanayagam Samuel Azariah (1945), Bishop in South India and Evangelist.

Before today begins, I am taking some quiet time this morning to give thanks, to reflect, to pray and to read in these ways:

1, today’s Gospel reading;

2, a short reflection;

3, a prayer from the USPG prayer diary;

4, the Collects and Post-Communion prayer of the day.

‘On the Ninth Day of Christmas … Nine Ladies Dancing’… traditionally they represent the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit

John 1: 19-28 (NRSVA):

19 This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ 20 He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’ 21 And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the prophet?’ He answered, ‘No.’ 22 Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’ 23 He said,

‘I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness,
“Make straight the way of the Lord”,’

as the prophet Isaiah said.

24 Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. 25 They asked him, ‘Why then are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?’ 26 John answered them, ‘I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, 27 the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal.’ 28 This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.

The nine fruits of the Holy Spirit … traditionally represented by the ‘nine ladies dancing’

Today’s Reflections:

The Christian interpretation of the song ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ often sees the nine ladies dancing as figurative representations of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit:

• Love,
• Joy,
• Peace,
• Patience,
• Kindness,
• Goodness,
• Faithfulness,
• Gentleness,
• Self-control
(see Galatians 5: 19-23).

In a sermon in Christ Church Cathedral, Dublin, many years ago, my late friend the Revd Robert Lawson listed the ten most popular New Year’s resolutions as:

1, Stop smoking.
2, Get fit.
3, Lose weight.
4, Enjoy life more.
5, Quit drinking.
6, Organise myself.
7, Learn something new.
8, Get out of debt.
9, Spend more time with family.
10, Help people.

Which of these gifts of the Holy Spirit do you value most? Which of these gifts of the Holy Spirit do I feel most lacking in me at this stage in my life? Which of these New Year’s resolutions did you make this year?

And how many of these New Year’s resolutions have I made in the past and never managed to keep – even beyond this first week in January?

If you were a speech writer for Saint John the Baptist, what words would you like to hear from ‘the voice of one crying out in the wilderness’ in the face of the many, complex problems the world faces in the coming year?

In the opening verses of his Gospel, Saint John tells us, that the Word, the logos – in other words, what God says, God in action, creating, revealing and redeeming – exists before all time. He is the force behind all that exists; he causes physical and spiritual life to be; life, goodness, light, overcomes all evil. Jesus, the ‘light’ (John 1: 7), took on being human through God, and is the force for goodness, light, godliness, for all people.

He tells too of John the Baptist, who is sent or commissioned by God to point to Christ, to ‘testify to the light’ (verse 7). John is the lamp that illumines the way, but Christ is the light (verse 8). When the religious authorities (verse 19) send their representatives, priests and Levites, to assess John’s authenticity as a religious figure, John tells them that he is neither of the two figures they are expecting to come to earth: he is neither ‘the Messiah’ (verse 20) nor the returned ‘Elijah’ (verse 21). At the time, pious Jews believed that one or both would establish a kingdom on earth that would be free of Roman domination.

Neither is John the prophet some expected would be instrumental in establishing the Messiah’s kingdom. Saint John says simply that he is the one who prepares ‘the way of the Lord’ (verse 23), who announces the Messiah’s coming, fulfilling the promise in Isaiah 40: 3.

The representatives of the Pharisees ask John (verse 25) why he is performing an official rite without official status. John tells them that the one to whom he points is already on earth. He is so great that for his part John protests he is not even worthy to be his slave.

Have you noticed the interesting setting for all this story?

It all takes place outside Israel (see verse 28).

Many years ago, when I was recording a television programme for Joe Duffy’s Spirit Level for RTÉ in 2014, I was part of a panel of four, and in the test run beforehand, each of us was asked how to be addressed, and for titles for the on-screen captions.

We can become very precious about our titles in the Church … ‘Reverend’ … ‘Very Reverend’ … ‘Right Revd’ … Canon … Professor … Dr … Dean … Archdeacon … Your Grace … My Lord … and so on.

I suppose, in terms of respect for the office, or in terms of shorthand descriptions of someone’s function in the Church, they serve a purpose. But respect is not a right, it must be earned, and when we start standing on our dignity, taking ourselves too seriously, something has gone wrong.

I figure if I am known to God by the name I was baptised with, Patrick, then all Christians should feel perfectly comfortable in calling me that.

And in terms of office, I should never forget that I too am one of the laos, the People of God, by virtue of my baptism, and that I remain a deacon, someone who was first ordained to serve.

Meanwhile, as the Orthodox Church commemorated Saint Basil yesterday (1 January) and the Church of England remembers him today, I am reminded that Saint Basil the Great was one of the three Great Cappadocian Fathers, alongside his brother Saint Gregory of Nyssa and the their close friend Gregory of Nazianzus.

And as I think of both Saint Basil and of those nine dancers in Cappadocia who illustrate this posting, and of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit, I am reminded of how the values of Saint Basil challenge the priorities expressed in any of the New Year’s resolutions we may make: ‘The bread which you do not use is the bread of the hungry; the garment hanging in your wardrobe is the garment of him who is naked; the shoes that you do not wear are the shoes of the one who is barefoot; the money that you keep locked away is the money of the poor; the acts of charity that you do not perform are so many injustices that you commit.’

Would I be recognised as a Christian not for the titles, honours and names the church and society give me but for living showing the fruits of the Spirit by living out values such as these?

The bell above the Church of Aghios Vassilios (Saint Basil) in Koutouloufári, a mountain village in Crete … Saint Basil the Great is remembered in church calendars yesterday and today (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Today’s Prayers (Friday 2 January 2026):

The theme this week (28 December 2025 to 3 January 2026) in Pray with the World Church, the prayer diary of the Anglican mission agency USPG (United Society Partners in the Gospel), is ‘Mother and Child’ (pp 14-15). This theme was introduced last Sunday with a Programme Update by Imran Englefield, Individual Giving Manager, USPG.

The USPG Prayer Diary today (Friday 2 January 2026) invites us to pray:

Merciful God, we pray for those who are struggling with loss, illness, or fear. Surround them with your comfort, and help them look forward with hope, trusting in your care.

The Collect:

Lord God, whose servants Basil and Gregory
proclaimed the mystery of your Word made flesh,
to build up your Church in wisdom and strength:
grant that we may rejoice in his presence among us,
and so be brought with them to know the power
of your unending love;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

The Post-Communion Prayer:

God of truth,
whose Wisdom set her table
and invited us to eat the bread and drink the wine
of the kingdom:
help us to lay aside all foolishness
and to live and walk in the way of insight,
that we may come with Basil and Gregory to the eternal feast of heaven;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yesterday’s Reflections

Continued Tomorrow

Aghios Vassilios (Saint Basil) in traditional icon-style on a studio door in Koutouloufári in Crete … ‘Common Worship’ today remembers Saint Basil the Great (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicised Edition copyright © 1989, 1995 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. http://nrsvbibles.org

Daily prayer in Advent 2025: 13, Friday 12 December 2025

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn’ (Matthew 11: 17) … traditional musicians in Nevşehir in Turkey (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Patrick Comerford

We have passed the half-way into the Season of Advent, and the countdown to Christmas seems to be gathering pace. This week began with the Second Sunday of Advent (Advent II, 7 December 2025). Before today begins and before I catch my buses to Oxford, I am taking some quiet time this morning to give thanks, to reflect, to pray and to read in these ways:

1, today’s Gospel reading;

2, a short reflection;

3, a prayer from the USPG prayer diary;

4, the Collects and Post-Communion prayer of the day.

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn’ (Matthew 11: 17) … ‘Τα κάλαντα’ (‘Carols’), Νικηφόρος Λύτρας (Nikiphoros Lytras)

Matthew 11: 16-19 (NRSVA):

[Jesus said:] 16 ‘But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market-places and calling to one another,

17 “We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not mourn.”

18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has a demon”; 19 the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!” Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.’

Marc Chagall’s painting ‘The Fiddler’ (1913) … inspired the title of the film ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ (1971)

Today’s reflection:

The theme in the lectionary readings last Sunday for Advent II (7 December 2025) was the Prophets, while next Sunday the theme is Saint John the Baptist (Advent III, 14 December 2025). Those two themes continue to be linked in this morning’s Gospel reading at the Eucharist (Matthew 11: 11-19), when Christ contrasts the reasons John was rejected with the reasons he is criticised.

Have you ever stayed up late, far too late, too late into the night, watching your favourite sport late at night on the television?

The World Cup qualifiers, the Test matches in Australia, late-night golf and tennis – they all offer gripping entertainment.

And even when the team we support or the players we identify with do not qualify, we keep on watching, waiting and hoping.

If this is you, if you sit on the edge of your chair rather than resting back on a comfortable cushion, then you know the difference between being a spectator and being a participant.

You don’t have to fly any flags from your window, or have your face painted to still enter into the spirit of great sporting events.

Entering into the spirit of a game moves us from being mere spectators to feeling we truly are participants … that every shout and every roar is a passionate response, is true encouragement, is wish fulfilment … the more passion the more we not only hope but believe that our team is going to win.

When we go to baptisms, weddings and funerals, the attitude we go with makes a world of difference: do I go as a spectator or as a participant?

Imagine going to a funeral and failing to offer sympathy to those who are grieving and mourning.

Imagine going to a wedding reception, but not taking your place at the table, not cheering the bride and groom, not getting onto the floor and dancing.

Sometimes we can get a little too precious, a little too worried about sending out the wrong signals. If we stand back, then like John the Baptist in this morning’s Gospel reading are we in danger of being reproached for being aloof from others (see Matthew 11: 18)? If we enjoy ourselves, then, like Jesus in this morning’s Gospel reading, are we going to be seen as too interested in eating and drinking (verse 19; cf Romans 7: 15-16)?

When we go to church on Sundays, we have to ask ourselves whether we are here as spectators or as participants.

When we join in waves and chants at a football match, when join in the dance at weddings, when we sing the hymns and enter into the prayers in church on a Sunday, we are moving from being observers and spectators to being participants.

The great opportunity for this transformation is provided Sunday after Sunday, in the invitation to move from being at the Liturgy to being in the Liturgy.

If you have been to the Middle East, or you have seen Fiddler on the Roof, you know that dancing at Jewish weddings is traditionally a male celebration.

At funerals in many Mediterranean countries, open mourning and weeping is a sign not just of individual grief, but of public grief, and of the esteem the community holds for the person who has died.

These traditions were passed on through the generations – by children learning from adults, and by children teaching each other.

In this morning’s Gospel reading, we see how Christ has noticed this in the streets and the back alleys as he moves through the towns and cities.

He sees the children playing, the boys playing wedding dances, and the girls playing funeral wailing and mourning.

He notices the ways in which children can reproach each other for not joining in their playfulness:

We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not mourn. (verse 17)

Even as he speaks there is playfulness in the way Jesus phrases his observation, there is humour in the way he uses words that rhyme for dance and mourn at the end of each line of the children’s taunts.

Perhaps he is repeating an everyday rebuke at the time for people who stand back from what others are doing.

The boys playing tin whistles and tin drums are learning to become adult men. The girls wailing and beating their breasts in mock weeping are learning to become adult women. Each group is growing into the roles and rituals that will be expected of them when they mature.

Like all good children’s games, the point is the game, not who wins.

When we refuse to take part in the game, in the ritual, we refuse to take part in the shaping of society, we are in danger of denying our shared culture, denying our shared humanity.

If I stand back detached, and remain a mere observer of the joys and sorrow in the lives of others, I am not sharing in their humanity.

And in not sharing in your humanity, I am failing to acknowledge that you too are made in the image and likeness of God.

But when we rejoice with people in their joys, and when we mourn with people in their sorrows, we are putting into practice what the doctrine of the Trinity teaches us about us being not only made in the image and likeness of God individually but communally and collectively too as humanity.

Imagine going to a wedding but not getting onto the floor and dancing (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Today’s Prayers (Friday 12 December 2025):

The theme this week (7 to 13 December 2025) in Pray with the World Church, the prayer diary of the Anglican mission agency USPG (United Society Partners in the Gospel), is ‘Divine Sufficiency’ (pp 8-9). This theme was introduced on Sunday with Reflections from the Revd Neli Miranda, Vicar at Saint James the Apostle in Guatemala City and Professor of Theology at the University Mariano Gálvez of Guatemala.

The USPG Prayer Diary today (Friday 12 December 2025) invites us to pray:

We pray for justice in Guatemala, asking that leaders act with integrity, end corruption, and promote policies that allow all people to live with dignity.

Collect:

O Lord, raise up, we pray, your power
and come among us,
and with great might succour us;
that whereas, through our sins and wickedness
we are grievously hindered
in running the race that is set before us,
your bountiful grace and mercy
may speedily help and deliver us;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
to whom with you and the Holy Spirit,
be honour and glory, now and for ever.

Post Communion:

Father in heaven,
who sent your Son to redeem the world
and will send him again to be our judge:
give us grace so to imitate him
in the humility and purity of his first coming
that, when he comes again,
we may be ready to greet him
with joyful love and firm faith;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Additional Collect:

Almighty God,
purify our hearts and minds,
that when your Son Jesus Christ comes again
as judge and saviour
we may be ready to receive him,
who is our Lord and our God.

Yesterday’s Reflections

Continued Tomorrow

Peter Brueghel the Younger, ‘A Peasant Wedding’ (1620), in the National Gallery of Ireland (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicised Edition copyright © 1989, 1995 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. http://nrsvbibles.org

Daily prayer in Christmas 2024-2025: 9, Thursday 2 January 2025

‘On the Ninth Day of Christmas … Nine Ladies Dancing’… traditionally they represent the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit

Patrick Comerford

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me … ‘nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree’.

I recently heard these days after Christmas as ‘Betwixtmas’. We are still in the season of Christmas, New Year’s Day was yesterday, and today is the last day of Hanukkah, which comes to an end today.

Today, the Calendar of the Church of England in Common Worship remembers Saint Basil the Great (379) and Saint Gregory of Nazianzus (389), Bishops and Teachers of the Faith; Saint Seraphim (1833), Monk of Sarov and Spiritual Guide; and Vedanayagam Samuel Azariah (1945), Bishop in South India and Evangelist.

Later this afternoon, I am in Milton Keynes University Hospital for lung and breathing tests as monitoring of my pulmonary sarcoidosis continues. Before today begins, I am taking some quiet time this morning to give thanks, to reflect, to pray and to read in these ways:

1, today’s Gospel reading;

2, a short reflection;

3, a prayer from the USPG prayer diary;

4, the Collects and Post-Communion prayer of the day.

‘Nine Ladies (and men) Dancing’ in Uçhisar in the Nevşehir District in Cappadocia… traditionally the nine ladies dancing in the Christmas song represent the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

John 1: 19-28 (NRSVA):

19 This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ 20 He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’ 21 And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the prophet?’ He answered, ‘No.’ 22 Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’ 23 He said,

‘I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness,
“Make straight the way of the Lord”,’

as the prophet Isaiah said.

24 Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. 25 They asked him, ‘Why then are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?’ 26 John answered them, ‘I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, 27 the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal.’ 28 This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.

The nine fruits of the Holy Spirit … traditionally represented by the ‘nine ladies dancing’

Today’s Reflection:

The Christian interpretation of the song ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ often sees the nine ladies dancing as figurative representations of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit:

• Love,
• Joy,
• Peace,
• Patience,
• Kindness,
• Goodness,
• Faithfulness,
• Gentleness,
• Self-control
(see Galatians 5: 19-23).

In a sermon at the Cathedral Eucharist in Christ Church Cathedral, Dublin, many years ago, the late Revd Robert Lawson listed the ten most popular New Year’s resolutions as:

1, Stop smoking.
2, Get fit.
3, Lose weight.
4, Enjoy life more.
5, Quit drinking.
6, Organise myself.
7, Learn something new.
8, Get out of debt.
9, Spend more time with family.
10, Help people.

Which of these gifts of the Holy Spirit do you value most?

Which of these gifts of the Holy Spirit do I feel most lacking in me at this stage in my life

Which of these New Year’s resolutions did you make this year?

And how many of these New Year’s resolutions have I made in the past and never managed to keep – even beyond the first week of January?

If you were a speech writer for Saint John the Baptist, what words would you like to hear from ‘the voice of one crying out in the wilderness’ in the face of the many, complex problems the world faces in the coming year?

The bell above the Church of Aghios Vassilios (Saint Basil) in Koutouloufári, a mountain village in Crete … ‘Common Worship’ today remembers Saint Basil the Great (Photograph: Patrick Comerford, 2024)

Today’s Prayers (Thursday 2 January 2025):

The theme this week in ‘Pray With the World Church’, the Prayer Diary of the Anglican mission agency USPG (United Society Partners in the Gospel), is ‘We Believe, We Belong: Nicene Creed’. This theme was introduced on Sunday by Dr Paulo Ueti, Theological Advisor and Regional Manager for Latin America and the Caribbean, USPG.

The USPG Prayer Diary today (Thursday 2 January 2025) invites us to pray:

God of justice, help us reflect on how power shapes our faith and lead us toward justice and peace. Guide us to follow Jesus’ example of humble service and self-giving love, becoming a Church that seeks reconciliation in all corners of the world.

The Collect:

Lord God, whose servants Basil and Gregory
proclaimed the mystery of your Word made flesh,
to build up your Church in wisdom and strength:
grant that we may rejoice in his presence among us,
and so be brought with them to know the power
of your unending love;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

The Post-Communion Prayer:

God of truth,
whose Wisdom set her table
and invited us to eat the bread and drink the wine
of the kingdom:
help us to lay aside all foolishness
and to live and walk in the way of insight,
that we may come with Basil and Gregory to the eternal feast of heaven;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yesterday’s Reflection

Continued Tomorrow

Aghios Vassilios (Saint Basil) in traditional icon-style on a door in Koutouloufári in Crete … ‘Common Worship’ today remembers Saint Basil the Great (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicised Edition copyright © 1989, 1995 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. http://nrsvbibles.org

Daily prayer in Ordinary Time 2024: 131, Wednesday 18 September 2024

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn’ (Luke 7: 32) … ‘Τα κάλαντα’ (‘Carols’), Νικηφόρος Λύτρας (Nikiphoros Lytras)

Patrick Comerford

We are continuing in Ordinary Time in the Church Calendar and this week began with the Sixteenth Sunday after Trinity (15 September 2024).

Before today begins, I am taking some quiet time this morning to give thanks, for reflection, prayer and reading in these ways:

1, today’s Gospel reading;

2, a reflection on the Gospel reading;

3, a prayer from the USPG prayer diary;

4, the Collects and Post-Communion prayer of the day.

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn’ (Luke 7: 32) … traditional musicians in Nevşehir in Turkey (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Luke 7: 31-35 (NRSVA)

[Jesus said:] 31 ‘To what then will I compare the people of this generation, and what are they like? 32 They are like children sitting in the market-place and calling to one another,

“We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not weep.”

33 ‘For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, “He has a demon”; 34 the Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!” 35 Nevertheless, wisdom is vindicated by all her children.’

Imagine going to a wedding but not getting onto the floor and dancing (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Today’s Reflection:

When we were looking at the Gospel reading yesterday, which told the story of the widow of Nain grieving her son at his funeral, I said how funeral stories and the stories of children being raised to life, are not always the most cheerful Bible readings, and I recalled how that reading was particularly difficult when I was preaching one Sunday morning when I was baptising a little baby boy.

In today’s Gospel reading, Jesus compares ‘the people of this generation’ with children sitting in the market-place calling to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not weep’ (Luke 7: 31-32).

I have often stayed up late at weddings, at the receptions after funerals, and enjoying late night sporting events, especially rugby and football. Each time, in ways that were appropriate to the occasion, I have entered into the spirit of the event, and where possible, moving from being a mere spectator to being a full participant.

When we go to weddings and funerals … and as a priest I got my fair share of both … when we go to weddings and funerals, the attitude we go with makes a world of difference: do I go as a spectator or as a participant?

Imagine going to a funeral and failing to offer sympathy to those who are grieving and mourning.

Shortly after my ordination, I was asked to officiate at my first wedding. Initially, I declined the invitation to go to the reception afterwards, until someone chided me gently and asked me: are you at this wedding as a spectator or as a participant?

Perhaps, as a new curate, I was too worried about sending out the wrong signals. If I stood back, would I be reproached for not eating and drinking with the people I was there to serve (see Luke 7: 33)? If I went, would I be seen as being too interested in eating and drinking (verse 34)?

But it was never about me, surely. It was only ever about the couple getting married.

A student in the Church of Ireland Theological Institute was telling me once about her parish placement as an ordinand. Initially, she was uncomfortable with the style of worship and the theological emphasis of the parish she was placed in. But the parish reacted to her warmly and gently. And as the weeks rolled on she realised she had moved from being an observer on Sunday mornings, to being an engaged visitor, to being a participant.

When we join in waves and chants at a football match, join in the dance at weddings, sing the hymns and enter into the prayers at another church, cry and hug those who are grieving and mourning, we move from being observers and spectators to being participants. And the great opportunity for this transformation is provided Sunday after Sunday, not at the Liturgy but in the Liturgy.

If you have been to the Middle East, or have just seen Fiddler on the Roof, you know that dancing at Jewish weddings was traditionally a male celebration. I have seen at funerals in Greece and the Eastern Mediterranean that the open mourning and weeping is usually expressed on behalf of the community by women in particular.

Indeed, we know since classical times how a man’s worth in life was once counted by the number of women crying at his funeral.

These traditions were passed on through the generations by children learning from adults and by children teaching each other.

In today’s Gospel reading, we see how Christ has noticed this in the streets and the back alleys as he moves through the towns and cities, probably in Galilee and along the Mediterranean shore.

He sees the children playing, the boys playing wedding dances, and the girls playing funeral wailing and mourning.

He notices the ways in which children can reproach each other for not joining in their playfulness:

We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not mourn. (verse 32)

Even as he speaks there is playfulness in the way Jesus phrases his observation poetically. There is humour in the way he uses Greek words that rhyme for dance and mourn at the end of each line of the children’s taunts:

Ηὐλήσαμεν ὑμῖν
καὶ οὐκ ὠρχήσασθε·
ἐθρηνήσαμεν
καὶ οὐκ ἐκλαύσατε.

Perhaps he was repeating an everyday rebuke in Greek at the time for people who stand back from what others are doing. We might put poetic rhyme on his lips here:

A wedding song we played for you,
The dance you did but scorn.
A woeful dirge we chanted too,
But then you would not mourn.

The boys playing tin whistles and beating tin drums are learning to become adult men. The girls wailing and beating their breasts in mock weeping are learning to become adult women. Each group is growing into the roles and rituals that will be expected of them when they mature.

Like all good children’s games, the point is the game, not who wins.

The games we played as children may now seem silly and pointless. But when we were children they mattered as a communal and community experience. The fun was not because there was anything to win. The fun was in taking part. And in taking part we were helped in the process of growing and maturing and making the transition from childhood to adolescence, and from adolescence to adulthood.

To and fro, back and forth, these boys and girls in the market place play the games of weddings and funerals.

The music they play shifts and changes its tones and tunes. This endless, pointless, repetition is their inherited way of learning and socialising. Their playfulness ensures their tradition and culture is reinforced and is handed on to the next generation.

But if the boys make music and the girls do not dance, if the girls wail, and the boys do not weep, how can they have a shared story, a shared adulthood, a shared culture, a shared future, a shared humanity?

When we refuse to take part in the game, in the ritual, we refuse to take part in the shaping of society, we are denying our shared culture.

When reciprocity collapses, we are denying our shared humanity.

We can become paralysed by our inability to enter into the game of others. And then the game turns from song and dance to what we might call ‘the blame game.’

It is so easy when I withdraw from the social activities of others to blame them.

Yes, there is a time for dancing and a time for mourning: each has its proper place, and they flow into each other, like the children’s game when it is working. But when vanity gets in the way, there is a breakdown in our understanding of time and of humanity.

If I stand back detached, and remain a mere observer of the joys and sorrows in the lives of others, I am not sharing in their humanity.

And in not sharing in your humanity, I am failing to acknowledge that you too are made in the image and likeness of God.

But when we rejoice with people in their joys, and when we mourn with people in their sorrows, we are putting into practice what the doctrine of the Trinity teaches us about us being not only made in the image and likeness of God individually but communally and collectively too as humanity.

The ‘Bottle Dance’ at the wedding in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’

Today’s Prayers (Wednesday 18 September 2024):

The theme this week in ‘Pray With the World Church,’ the Prayer Diary of the Anglican mission agency USPG (United Society Partners in the Gospel), is ‘The 5-finger prayer from the Diocese of Kuching, Malaysia.’ This theme was introduced on Sunday in reflections as told to Rachel Weller, Communications Officer, USPG.

The USPG Prayer Diary today (Wednesday 18 September 2024) invites us to pray:

Tall Finger (enemies): Heavenly Father, I’m sorry that I find it difficult to pray for those who curse me. Knowing your forgiveness and grace, I want to change. Help me to love my neighbour as myself.

The Collect:

O Lord, we beseech you mercifully to hear the prayers
of your people who call upon you;
and grant that they may both perceive and know
what things they ought to do,
and also may have grace and power faithfully to fulfil them;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

The Post Communion Prayer:

Almighty God,
you have taught us through your Son
that love is the fulfilling of the law:
grant that we may love you with our whole heart
and our neighbours as ourselves;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Additional Collect:

Lord of creation,
whose glory is around and within us:
open our eyes to your wonders,
that we may serve you with reverence
and know your peace at our lives’ end,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yesterday’s reflection

Continued tomorrow

‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn’ (Luke 7: 31-32) … musicians in a poster in Corfu Restaurant, Dublin (Photograph: Patrick Comerford)

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicised Edition copyright © 1989, 1995 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. http://nrsvbibles.org